Long ago, back in the days when the animals could talk and the people could understand them, Turtle woke up one morning with a great idea. "Too long, have humans beings hunted the animals. It is time that we, the animals, joined together, and made war on human beings and wiped them out."
So Turtle got some red paint and painted his cheeks to show that he was serious about taking the path to war. He went down to the river, and he got out his small canoe. He climbed in, and he began to paddle down the river, and sang his canoe song. He sang:
"Kai oh wah gee nay yo, oh hey ho hey
Kai oh wah gee nay, kai oh wah gee nay.
Kai oh wah gee nay yo, hey hey ho ho,
Kai oh wah gee nay, kai oh wah gee nay."
And as he paddled down the river, there on the bank he saw a big animal standing on its hind legs. It waved at Turtle. It growled and said, "Turtle, take me with you. I want to go make war on the human beings."
It was Bear, the biggest of all animals. Bear's foot was as big as Turtle's canoe. So Turtle thought fast. He said, "You are too slow to go to war with me. If I went to strike the enemy, you would fall behind and you would be no good at all. Only the mightiest warriors can go with Turtle when he makes war. You must stay here." And quickly, Turtle began to paddle his canoe down the river, singing his song:
"Kai oh wah gee nay yo, oh hey ho hey,
Kai oh wah gee nay, kai oh wah gee nay."
Soon the river made a bend, and there, where the river bent, stood another animal. Now, this animal was not as big as Bear. He was standing on all fours legs. He had a bushy tail, sharp ears that stood up, and long, sharp teeth. It was Wolf. And Wolf growled at Turtle, and said, "Turtle, take me with you. I will go and fight the human beings, and I am a fast runner. I am not slow like Bear."
"Well." Turtle looked up at Wolf. Wolf 's mouth was big enough to eat Turtle in one bite. Turtle thought fast, and he said, " You are too fast a runner. If you became afraid, you would run away from battle and I could not catch you to make you fight. Only the mightiest warriors can go with Turtle. You must remain here."
Quickly Turtle began to paddle his canoe and sing his song:
"Kai oh wah gee nay yo, oh hey ho hey
Kai of wah gee nay, kai oh wah gee nay"
Where the river again made a bend, there stood a third animal. Now this animal was the same size as Turtle. This animal had a beautiful black coat with a lovely white stripe down the back.
When Turtle pulled his canoe in close to the bank, the animal said, "Turtle take me with you. I will go and fight the human beings."
Turtle looked at the strange animal. "Perhaps you can come with me," he said, "but only the mightiest warriors can come with Turtle. " You must show me your secret weapon."
"First I must turn around to do so," the animal said, and he turned around and Whoosh![/i ]showed Turtle his secret weapon. That weapon was powerful indeed. It knocked Turtle right out of his canoe!
When he had climbed back into his canoe again, he said to this animal, whose name was Skunk, "Your weapon is mighty indeed. You may come with me, but do not use your weapon until we strike the human beings."
Now there were two warriors going down the river together singing:
"Kai oh wah gee nay yo, oh hey ho hey,
Kai oh wah gee nay, kai oh wah gee nay."
Now, on the bank of the river again curved stood the strangest animal of all. The animal had no legs and looked like a rope all coiled up. As Turtle and Skunk came close, this animal said, "SSSStop. Take me with you. I want to sssstrike the human beings!" It was Rattlesnake.
Turtle looked at Rattlesnake and saw that he would fit into the canoe, but he said, "We are mighty warriors. We are going to wipe ut all the human beings, but only a great warrior can come with us. Do you have any weapons?"
"Yessss, I have one ssssecret weapon," Rattlesnake said.
Turtle shook his head and said, Do not show it to me. Just get into the canoe." and now there were three mighty warriors going down the river singing..
"Kai oh wah gee nay sssyo, oh hey ho sss,
Kai oh wah gee nay sss
kai oh wah gee nay."
The river began to widen. Where it was at its widest, there was a big village of Haudenosaunee people. In the village there were many lodges, and by the river bank there were many young men standing, practising games of war. Some was shooting arrows, and some were throwing spears. Some were wrestling with each other. Turtle, seeing this, stopped his canoe in the middle of the river.
The other two warriors waited for a signal to attack, but Turtle said, "Uh, I can see that if these people see us coming, they will be so frightened, they will run away before we can get out of our canoe and wipe them out. We must have a surprise attack." So it was agreed.
They took the canoe very , very softly and quietly over to the bank. They found a little stream that flowed out of the big river,and they followed that little stream until they came to some bushes. They hid Turtle's canoe, climbed out, and snuck close to the edge of the village. There they made their plans: They would hide themselves all through the night and attack at dawn.
Skunk was the first one to find a place to hide. There was a little spring where the women came to dip water for cooking, and Skunk crawled in among the thick bushes and hid by the edge of the spring.
Rattlesnake was next. He crawled over by one of the lodges where there was some sticks that stuck out, and he stretched out straight and looked like a stick.
Turtle looked for a place where he could hide. There in front of a lodge were a number of cooking pots, turned over and left for the night. Turtle crawled in among the cooking pots, pulled in his head, pulled in his legs and his tail, and looked like a muddy old cooking pot. Then the three great warriors waited for dawn.
When the sun rose in the morning, a woman came from her lodge. She went down to the spring to get some water for cooking. As she bent over to get her water, Skunk leaped out and Ahh!fired his secret weapon. But the woman was very tough and brave. Even though she was coughing and choking, she grabbed Shunk by the neck and began to beat him on top of his head with her fist, she hit him so many times that his head was flattened out. When he woke up, he crawled off into the bushes. To this day, Skunk has a flat head, and he does not like to come out during the daytime. He is afraid he might meet that tough woman again.
Now there were only two mighty warriors left, and it was Rattlesnake's turn. Another woman came from her lodge to get some sticks to make her morning fire, but this woman who had very sharp eyes, saw something was strange. One of those sticks was twitching its tail. So she back off and began to pick up some stones, and when she had enough of them, she began to throw them at Rattlesnake. Her aim was so good, she hit him right on the head and flattened his head out. He crawled away as fast as he could. To this day, Rattlesnake has a flat head, and if a Rattlesnake sees you, he will not stretch out like a stick; instead he will coil up and shake his tail to say, I am NOT a stick, I am NOT a stick!"
Now only one mighty warrior was left.. Turtle. Inside another lodge there was a man who was very lazy. This man had slept late, and his wife poked him and said, "You! Get Up! All the other men in the village are doing things and you are still asleep. The least you can do for me is to go out and bring in the cooking pot."
So this man, yawning, stretching, blinking his eyes, walked out side to the cooking pots and bent over to pick up the first one he saw, even though it was very old and dirty-looking. But it was not a cooking pot. It was Turtle, and as soon as the man picked him up, Turtle shot his head out and grabbed the man , right by the leg.
"Ow!" shouted the man. "Let go!" But Turtle does not let go until he is ready. "Let go!" the man shouted, but Turtle just bit harder. The man pulled a stick out and begun to hit Turtle on his back many times, so many times that it cracked Turtle's shell, but Turtle did not let go.
"AHH!" said the man. "I am going to drag you over and put you into that big fire there!"
That frightened Turtle. Turtle does not like fire. So Turtle thought fast, and without opening his mouth he said through his clinched jaws, "Go ahead put me in the fire. Fire is my friend. It makes me stronger."
"Oh," said the man, "then I am not going to put you in the fire. But what can I do to kill you?"
"Oh," said Turtle, whatever you do, do not put me in the water. I am afraid of the water, oh I am so afraid of the water!"
"Aha!" said the man. "I am smarter than you. I will take you down and drown you in the river."
"No, cried Turtle. "No!"
Still Turtle did not let go, and the man dragged him, kicking and scratching, all the way down to the river.
He waded in until Turtle was deep under the surface. When he was deep enough, Turtle let go and swam away.
Ever since then, if you walk down by the river, you might see Turtle there, sitting on a log or sitting on a rock. You may notice he still has his cheeks painted red as if he wants to go to war. But if he sees, he will leap into the water and swim away underneath its surface as fast as he can, to show that Turtle has no desire anymore to make war on human beings. And another thing is true: You will no longer see Turtle paddling a canoe.
That is how that story of Turtle's war party goes. Ho? Hey.
